Saturday, June 20, 2009

fun book finds part 1

Do you "dabble" with tea leaf readings? Have you ever questioned the Lord's ways? Are you concerned about worldly affairs that might actually affect you? Are you concerned about animal rights? Have you ever masturbated? Have you ever thought ill will towards someone? Do you have "queer" friends? Do you like fantasy movies? Do you know who "Black Sabbath" is? Then this book is for you and you need it because you need to be set free from Satan's control!

Goddamn. Fuck me. I mean, this book was printed at least FIVE TIMES. Twice in 1988 alone. What's truly sad is that I'm sure people like this still exist. And are probably reproducing by like, the tons.

But shit! They combined evil shit with cute kittens. Can't be too mad about that.


Aww! But you know, you don't even have to worship Satan to have one of those.

Sincerely, my familiar (whether I like it or not because he's fucking mean),

Shit, wait. I have to go get stoned real quick for committing an abomination of god. BRB!

Ok. Back.

This is what witches do like, every day of their lives when they're not sucking the blood out of new born infants tiny little veins and rubbing their unholy whore-holes:

On D&D:

"Defilement of fonts!!!"

The like, only other occult dude besides Anton LeVay that they've ever heard of:

No wai!!!

On ouija boards:

"Dead serious!"

On Necromancy:

"Dabbling" or "Meet me at the Crossroads (crossroads)."


I mean, do people actually base their lives off what people like this say? Let's take O'l Joan for instance.

Worked on the best-selling books, "Turmoil in The Toy Box" and "Devotion in Motion (should have been called, "Devotion in Motion: Fragrant Lotions and Emotions)." Co-authored, "The Great Pretender".

("I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.")

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord they God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the father upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.
Exodus 20:5

Or how about ultimo-fun-killer Phil Phillips?

Dude's parent's reportedly said, "fuck you!" when they decided what to name him.

He was probably big shit to... someone because he was in mainstream, shitty publications. So, he's basically about as useful to me and everyone else as Gene Siskel was living, let alone a corpse.

"Cartoons, candy, games and toys of any kind, fun, art, music, and being imaginative or expressing creativity is directly related to SATAN!! YOU CAN BE SET FREE OF FUN!!

Never forget!:


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